By Michelle Pate, MA, MBA
People go to social events to have fun, hopefully meet other fun and interesting people to talk with at the event, and possibly become friends in the future.
Most people bring their “persona” to the party, and because they are nervous or excited, they can interact with strangers in an more exaggerated manner than how they regularly interact with known associates.
For example, an introverted person will listen more than normal and an extrovert will talk more than usual. Someone who drinks regularly will drink more, and an anxious person will have more stomach problems and headaches. All in all, because of the nervousness or excitability a social event can provoke, people are not always on their most thoughtful and mindful behavior.
Though a networking event is social in nature, it is NOT a social event. Too many people mix this up. Going to a networking event is more like going to an interview. Treat a networking event as a possible interview. You might meet a potential employer and be pulled into a spontaneous interview. It happens. I have been there.
Your mantras: Be prepared. Be mindful. Be thoughtful.
To be effective, people need to look at networking events as more of a business meeting than a social event. Many people take these events seriously and are there to find a job or prospects for business. Don’t waste their time. Prepare yourself and put your best foot forward.
Radiate Confidence
I understand that the economy is tough and many people are discouraged about work, but when you go to networking events, you must put on your best game face. Dress up like you are going to an interview or out to a nice dinner. How you look is 90% of what people remember, over what you say. People will often forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Make it matter.
Having performed on stage and in sports, I learned very quickly that you must put on a positive, happy and energetic face to the world, even when you don’t feel like it. Like we say in show business, “the show must go on”! Whether you just got laid off, your spouse left you, or you have been looking for a job for two years without success, you must present a together and polished look when you go to a networking event.
For several years, I worked at a place where I had to put on my happiest public face. Every day right before I’d walk through those doors, I would take a deep breath, leave myself and my life problems at the door and take on my confident happy work alter ego. I smiled when I didn’t feel like it, and worked hard even when exhausted. Several times I got overwhelmed. I went into the back and cried. I got it out, dried my eyes, used a little Visine and put my makeup on all over again. I went out and smiled real hard at everyone and was pleasant. Nobody was the wiser.
It’s what we need to do sometimes in order to make it in life. There are some companies who will fire people who bring their problems to work, and you can lose contracts if you aren’t cheerful and helpful with your clients. Putting your best foot forward is sometimes all you have to make it to the next day. This is especially tough to do in these economic times because there are a LOT of people who are very negative and distressed about their current situation. But do whatever you can to keep a positive face to the world. It matters.
You must always be on your toes, because you don’t know if the next person you talk to is going to be your next contract or employer.
You are the CEO of your life, act like it.
Focus on Business
Several people at networking events talk about other subjects rather than business at hand. There is a limited amount of time to meet people, make it worth your while and theirs. Focus on what you are looking for in a job position or company and communicate it clearly to the people you talk to. Don’t ramble on about what you have been doing, or share the frustrating parts of your past, focus on what you are looking for and what you want to do next.
Reciprocate
If people don’t tell you what they are looking for, ask them how you can support them. Even if you don’t think they can help YOU, be interested in THEM and what they are looking for. This one exchange is worth a lot, because job seekers and business people encounter rejection most of the time. Just offering to be on the lookout for them will get their attention and have them remember you, thus creating a new connection.
This kind of reciprocation broadens your listening of the world at large. You might overhear someone looking for a supply chain manager, and you just met one at a networking event a week ago. Imagine if that person got the job because of you. You will have a friend for life. Not to mention good karma points. And… an inside connection to a company. Guess who will be calling you when a job opens at their company?
Put out good energy toward people. Be interested in them. Even if you don’t think they can provide YOU with anything, you never know who they know. If they LIKE you, they will be more inclined to help you in the future.
Be a Courteous Communicator
The mark of a strong business person is effective communication. People will want to continue a connection with you in the future if they feel listened to and respected. When you are at a networking event, your focus is on making connections. Even if you are in a different area of business or industry as the person who is talking, listen to what they are saying. They will more respond to what you are saying if you do.
Let other people finish their own sentences. It’s not polite to interrupt. I am still amazed at how many educated and experienced people still do this. Take your turn listening. You might learn something. Remember what your mom said? You have two ears and one mouth because it’s more important to listen than to talk.
Take turns talking. If you dominate the conversation, people will eventually lose interest and move on. No one likes to be talked at. No one likes to feel they are being used by you just to hear yourself talk. What sucks for you in this scenario, is most people are too polite to say anything, you will just find that they disappeared from your life.
Only give people advice if they ask you for it. Otherwise, ask them if you can give them a tip. It shows that you respect them and their expertise. Most of the time, they have already done what you want to tell them to do. Find out if they have tried what you are going to suggest. State it as a question, not a demand. Say “did you try this?” rather than “do this!” It’s just proper etiquette. These people are your PEERS, not your CHILDREN.
How many times have people given you advice for something when it wasn’t even what you needed at the moment? Didn’t that frustrate you and leave you feeling not cared about? If you listen and get to know someone for at least 15 minutes, they are much more likely to listen to any advice you are going to give them. You are then giving more informed advice. Chances are they have already tried what you are going to offer them anyway. And it either didn’t work for them, or they know that is the thing they need to do, but don’t WANT to.
Be Prepared
Have an elevator pitch ready. You will have about 30 seconds to tell people who you are, what kind of business you are proficient at, and what you are looking for. Make it count.
Also, tell people what you are looking for and what support you need. That tells them how they can help you. A good elevator pitch will make people want to know you. A bad one will have them look the other way. The point is to be quick, enthusiastic, and tell them who you are before you lose their attention.
I am always perplexed at why people would go to a networking event without business cards or have an outdated card from a company they don’t work with any longer.
It’s very easy to make your own cards. Visit an office supply store and buy clean edge business cards. A pack costs around $20, and has enough sheets to make 80 cards. They break apart along a clean edge and look very professional. You design them yourself from a template in Microsoft Word and print them out on your printer. You can also visit a print services center and they will help you design and print your cards. You get 250 basic cards for under $50. You can also email your Word document to the print center and they will print out your cards per your specs. You can get 500 cards for under $60.
Promote Your Online Portfolio
I am also amazed that so many job seekers and business people do not have their own website. The point of a website is to have you stand out from the crowd and to tell people more about you. Many people don’t create a website, because they feel uncomfortable with what they perceive as bragging about themselves. But in order to stand out in this economy, you must present yourself to others on a professional website. Companies are very impressed by people to take the initiative to put their careers out there online. It shows you have confidence and initiative. I have heard about people creating their own website, target marketing companies they want to work for, showcasing how their experience and education will benefit the company, and getting hired by the company to work at the very projects they desired.
You can very easily create your own website using a WordPress.com site. This website you are looking at right now was created using WordPress. This site is very easy to use and you can update all material yourself. You can tell the world about yourself, what you have done and what you want to do next. You can upload pictures and documents to your website to show projects you have completed in the past. Your home page is usually configured as a blog so you can update people on what you have been doing or write informational articles like the one here.
A WordPress site is free. You can have your site route to your own URL. All you need to do is buy a domain at a site like GoDaddy.com or WhoIs.com. You can usually buy a URL for $20 per year (or less). You can then have WordPress host your site for only $12 a year. If you want to spend the time learning web design more in depth, you can buy your own webhosting at Blue Host for only $6.95/mo (check for discounts), free domain included. Using Blue Host can be very economical if you decide to create alternative websites to showcase your business.
Make sure the graphics and colors on your business cards and website convey the same image. This is your branding and shows you are experienced in promoting yourself. Think about how you want to represent yourself, and go from there.
If you need help with the creation and writing of your website and business cards, contact me at michellepate@yahoo.com.
Don’t Get Drunk
This might seem like common sense, but many people don’t think properly when they are drinking alcohol. Often, the thought process goes, “One was good, so two must be better. Aw, heck, I’m having fun, so let’s have another.”
Dangerous!
Remember, a networking event is NOT the same as a social event or party. It involves putting your best foot forward as if you were going to a job interview. You wouldn’t have a few drinks right before a job interview, would you?
Drinking at events makes most people lose their ability to focus and keep the task on business. Some people unwittingly make fools of themselves while drinking without realizing it. Your executive brain is shut down, and your emotional brain is on loud speaker, so you might think you are making connections when you really aren’t. Drinking distorts your self image. You might think you are being the life of the party, but a person who is trying to get to know you might just get annoyed and is trying to find a way to get rid of you.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the moment in a social situation, but you need to know your limits and that alcohol affects your relations with others. Some people drink to calm their nerves in social situations, and other people drink too much when they are talking with others. It is so easy to have too many drinks socially without even thinking about it.
Remember, you are in a business meeting away from home. If you do drink, keep it to a drink or two. You also don’t want the terrible hassle of getting a DUI. A ticket of that nature takes several thousand dollars out of your pocket, and steals dozens of hours of your time. Plus, you can’t drive for a month after you get a DUI and you must drive completely sober for three years after. If you have even a .005 BAC within this time frame, you will be cited for another DUI and incur more hassles. All of this is unnecessary and gets in the way of your business anyway. So just say NO.
Follow Up
When you connect with people, make sure you get in contact with them a few days after the event to keep the conversation going. You can send them a short, friendly email or add them to your professional network on LinkedIn.
I hope this article has been a helpful reminder to be on our best business behavior at networking events, so we can all have a better experience while expanding our networks. You don’t want to waste your time, and you desire connections that will last far into the future. Put your best foot forward, and be prepared.